Thank you for expressing so poignantly what I felt — and ponder, since the season finale — watching Heated Rivalry. I’m [undeniably] one of the older gay men (15 years your senior) who, too, blubbered from his sofa — moved by Shane and Ilya’s romantic “happy ending,” yet mournful that my own “Episode 6” ended with a decades-long familial car-wreck, not a drive-into-the-sunset. My subsequent “seasons” concluded with happier reconciliations — with a mother very different than Shane’s character’s; and even more hard-won, with myself: amen. I’m comforted, even proud (as you and many other older queer people must be; should be) to share an unnamed “writing credit” for the story of today’s unquestionably (if unevenly) better world for our younger LGBTQ brothers/sisters/other friends. There’s much joy in that, but there’s no “take two” or do-over for my long-ago coming-out episode. I love Heated Rivalry. Watching it made me so happy, and so sad. . . .
What a wonderful succinct take on any gay man and the struggles of coming out. I still fight the internalized homophobia and not sure at 60 that I will ever shake the feeling of being less than a man for being gay.
I think if it wasn’t for religion, especially Abrahamic ones, it would have been no big deal from the get-go. As a non-believer and straight, but leaning towards asexuality (I’m old), it simply has to do with genetics, DNA, biology and brain function. It’s simply part of the natural world and should be a non-issue.
Loved this piece a lot, Jay. I think we all cried on our sofas like fools at episode 5. The line about lying, and how Shane apologizes more for lying than for being gay, is one of the things I appreciated about the show. Especially considering how close he is with his parents, it's so hard to feel like you've betrayed them in some way. I think there are plenty of nit picks and critiques you can get into with the show itself, but the outsized impact it's had on our current moment has been really meaningful. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for sharing. As someone who grew up in an Evangelical, charismatic church, I can relate to your story and journey. Looking back makes me exhausted just thinking about the amount of energy I spent trying to hide behind my mask.
I loved this. I was a late-blooming lesbian (mid-30s, in the early 2000s), and in more recent years also recognizing I'm somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum. And this show has consumed my attention and heart like very little else. You've pulled out a lot of the threads that help me understand why that is, and I really appreciate it.
Thank you for expressing so poignantly what I felt — and ponder, since the season finale — watching Heated Rivalry. I’m [undeniably] one of the older gay men (15 years your senior) who, too, blubbered from his sofa — moved by Shane and Ilya’s romantic “happy ending,” yet mournful that my own “Episode 6” ended with a decades-long familial car-wreck, not a drive-into-the-sunset. My subsequent “seasons” concluded with happier reconciliations — with a mother very different than Shane’s character’s; and even more hard-won, with myself: amen. I’m comforted, even proud (as you and many other older queer people must be; should be) to share an unnamed “writing credit” for the story of today’s unquestionably (if unevenly) better world for our younger LGBTQ brothers/sisters/other friends. There’s much joy in that, but there’s no “take two” or do-over for my long-ago coming-out episode. I love Heated Rivalry. Watching it made me so happy, and so sad. . . .
What a wonderful succinct take on any gay man and the struggles of coming out. I still fight the internalized homophobia and not sure at 60 that I will ever shake the feeling of being less than a man for being gay.
I think if it wasn’t for religion, especially Abrahamic ones, it would have been no big deal from the get-go. As a non-believer and straight, but leaning towards asexuality (I’m old), it simply has to do with genetics, DNA, biology and brain function. It’s simply part of the natural world and should be a non-issue.
Loved this piece a lot, Jay. I think we all cried on our sofas like fools at episode 5. The line about lying, and how Shane apologizes more for lying than for being gay, is one of the things I appreciated about the show. Especially considering how close he is with his parents, it's so hard to feel like you've betrayed them in some way. I think there are plenty of nit picks and critiques you can get into with the show itself, but the outsized impact it's had on our current moment has been really meaningful. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for sharing. As someone who grew up in an Evangelical, charismatic church, I can relate to your story and journey. Looking back makes me exhausted just thinking about the amount of energy I spent trying to hide behind my mask.
I loved this. I was a late-blooming lesbian (mid-30s, in the early 2000s), and in more recent years also recognizing I'm somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum. And this show has consumed my attention and heart like very little else. You've pulled out a lot of the threads that help me understand why that is, and I really appreciate it.